Epiphany

Sorry, no poetry this post. You’ll just have to be entertained by my ramblings of my latest epiphany.

Okay, so if your reading this, you probably know me. If you don’t know me and your reading this, you’ve evidently been drawn here by the sheer power of my awesomsauce.

   The thing is, for some some misguided reasons I was trying to tone done the volume of my greatness. I incorrectly thought it would make life easier for myelf  and others. Independant research has concluded that that hypothesis was incorrect.

Through various conversations with my peers I discovered the same trend. No matter how helpfull, thoughtfull, giving I was, or how humble I attempted to be everyone told me basically the two same things.

1.) Everyone invovled in this study had put me on a pedestal on sort or another. Whether it was fear, reverance, love, or an aknowledgement of superiority in some fashion, there was an overwhelming sense of some redeemable aspect to me that kept bringing them back.

2.) Everyone involved also commented that I was arrogant and at times full of myself.

Now I ask you, how can I not be full of ,confidence in, myself when everyone tells me how great I am ? ; )

Strangely enough, that’s not what my epiphany was. No matter how much I thought I was toning “it” down, the real me was evidently shining through.

The epiphany was that it didn’t matter that the survey says I was arrogant, they accepted it as part of what made me, me, and evidently I’m wicked awesome ; ) (which I already knew) I think I was mostly just suprised that everyone thought I was arrogant.

The gloves are off, my pants have hit the floor, insert some other random cliche, it’s time to bust out the amp that goes to 11, and kick it up a notch.

Humble sucks, and evidently the only person I was fooling was myself.

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n0 h41kU 4 u

No Haiku for you.

I said no Haiku for you.

No Haiku for you.

Hit and Run Haiku

Backed into a corner.

There’s no time to hesitate.

Its fight or flight now!!

+++

Up against the wall,

lips locked in a sudden kiss,

hands under her skirt.

+++

She knows seduction.

Don’t underestimate her.

Just fuck her and run!

+++

It’s a simple plan.

Simple as a plan can be.

Just don’t screw it up.

+++

After it’s over,

she’s the one to up and run.

Sit there, dumbfounded.

+++

Wonder about it,

but surely never ask her

what it was about.

 

New and Improved Haiku Hinjinks

VODKA, HOLD THE SCALLOPS

Delicious  Scallops.

Cooked them but did not eat a

Single damn  Scallop.

 

SCALLOP PROLGUE

I’m not mad, I’m glad

people ate the scallops up.

Just wish I had one.

 

SCALLOP PROLOGUE II

It’s too bad, soo sad

You owe me a Blow Job now.

GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES !!
 

PIMP YOUR SISTER

You pimp you sister

To save your own sorry self.

but I’m not buying

 

2B OR NOT 2B

She’s not retarded!!

I heard the irrate girl say.

But he says “Downy!”

Haiku

Haiku by Your Lord And Master

Randomly surfing 

I found a cool Haiku thread

The link is below

http://forums.frogthatcanfly.com/punbb/viewtopic.php?id=267&p=3

An example of prose from the above thread follows

When I use my brain
It gets me only so far
So I use my dick

Haiku by Azule

 

The Legend Of Neil

Do you remember Zelda ?

Mix that with a whole lot of alcohol and update it for the new millenium and you have the Legend Of Neil. It’s freaking hilarious, even if you don’t get the Zelda references.

 http://www.effinfunny.com/legend-of-neil

After you watch all six episodes, you’ll be begging for more webisodes. unfortunately there won’t be any more webisodes. The Legend of Neil is a victum of it’s own success and has been picked up by Comedy Central.

Season two is already in the works…

I like my women like I like my coffee

I like my women like I like my coffee

a poem by Your Lord And Master

 

I like my women like I like my coffee, light and sweet.

I like my women like I like my coffee, a hot and tasty treat.

I like my women like I like my coffee, bold and strong.

I like my women like I like my coffee, all night long.